Mummy porn

It’s not that I don’t love, worship and entirely adore my husband, its that I’m exhausted, I feel bloated, ugly, hideous even, I have no time for myself and my legs, amongst many other places, have needed shaving for the last two weeks. The washing needs to be hung out, the dishwasher needs emptying, the online shop needs to be completed and the uniforms need to be out ready for the morning. Plus I seem to constantly have this urgent need to bank sleep whenever I can as its always unknown how bad the night ahead my be with the kids. The very last thing in the world I feel like doing is getting down to ‘business’ with my old man. Its a constant competition of who’s had the least sleep, who works the hardest, who has the hardest life and it sucks.
I didn’t particularly like fifty shades of grey, in fact I found it really tedious and an additional chore to read in places, BUT… it put sex back on my agenda at least. It re-ignited what was once a very saucy, almost sleazy imp within me and I liked it. I liked it a lot. But I want more, I want to be able to have sex and not be worrying the the packed lunches aren’t packed and that the fish need feeding or the oven cleaning. I want carefree, fun, rampant and exciting sex again. #fiftyshadesofgrey can kiss my big one. I’m going bigger, better, and real. I want a forum where my other mummy chums can share, I want fantasies set in England, with realistic characters. No billionaires, no ‘rules’ and no end of a trilogy…

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